My fellow Americans,

It’s time to go back. It’s time to go back to an age when the gettin’ was good. And those who deserved gettin’ it got it and got it good. It’s time to go back to a simpler time–a time when the freaks were confined to the circus tent. A time when little Opie could take his fishin’ pole down to the Mayberry creek without fear of being brutally murdered by heathens. It’s time to go back to a time when good, wholesome family values mattered most. A time when men were Men, women were women, and gays were banished to the closet.

My fellow Americans, I am running on a platform of reason. I am a man of prrinciple. We need to continue to have an America where the all-seeing, all-knowing, gender-superior Man is able to pop a government subsidized boner at will. We need an America where the lowly women-folk are barred from affordable access to any such witchcraft that would disallow the sacred, almighty Sperm from successfully fertilizing the dutiful egg.

Let’s go back, America.

Mittens Romney, Address Accepting the Prresidential Nomination at the 2012 Republican National Convention

Set in a not-so-distant Moreauvian reality, Mittens Romney: Mr. Prresident offers us a disturbing view of the potential outcome of the 2012 United States Presidential election.

The authors & illustrators of this comical farce sincerely hope that the premise becomes completely irrelevant and unnecessary come November. They urge their readers, not only to register and commit to voting on November 6, 2012, but also to spread the gospel far and wide across the land.

In 2008, we were promised change. The polls saw the highest voter turnout in a Federal election since 1968. The people’s voice was heard.

And so we waited.

And change indeed occurred.

It wasn’t the change for which we were waiting; it wasn’t sweeping and grandiose and indefectible. No, our changed was bounded. It was moderate, at best.

It was flawed.

Many of us have become disenchanted by the presidency of Barack Obama. And with good reason. President Obama reserves the right to kill any American at will. The Middle East remains a tumultuous, seemingly infinite battlefield. Unemployment is still high. Student debt is soaring. The fat cats on Wall St. lined their pockets with bonuses payed for by the very Americans they robbed of their lives, their homes, and their savings.

House Republicans have blocked every major attempt at stimulus since then.

The Democrats, however, are not innocent of all charges. We believe that almost every politician in Washington today is happily nestled in the pockets of Big Oil, Wall St., insurance companies, and a plethora of other monied robber barons with bank accounts larger than several small countries. Our policies and our foreign affairs tell more truth than any soaring speech.

We cannot, however, turn our frustrations at the current state of our nation into electoral apathy.

An unused vote on Election Day is a vote for Mitt Romney.

Currently, we are stuck in a two-party system. In our perfect world, there would be several parties. Elections would not be a simple tug-o-war with Tweedledee and Tweedledum. We’d have real choices between politicians more resembling our beliefs, choosing who best fits our perception of a qualified President, rather than merely settling for the candidate who is less appalling. This is an attainable vision. Currently we must work together, however, to keep our country from simply regressing back from whence we came.

Today, when we juxtapose Barack Obama and Mitt Romney, we can say with certitude that there is an inherent and gaping difference between the two. A vote for Mitt Romney is a vote for retrogression. Anyone reading this page will not be helped if the current Republic ticket is elected to the nation’s highest office. They are not trying to help the average American. They are trying to help only themselves and their offshore bank accounts.

(Tweedledee was, after all, slightly smarter than Tweedledum.)

Unlike the GOP, we are not attempting to woo votes based on lies, misdirection, and perfectly-coifed haircuts. Our comic is decidedly anti-Romney/Ryan, however, we ask that you ultimately decide for yourself.

We (literally) color events to serve our purpose. The media colors events to serve its purpose. Both political parties color events to serve their purposes. We firmly believe that history and facts are able to speak for themselves.

Educate yourself.


Decide for yourself.




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